102 this morning. No, not a fever – my weight. 5’7. Calculate it for yourself, BMI standards label me as severely underweight. I’m healthy, I chase a toddler around all day, I’m active, and I eat – regularly, often, large portions, I love food.
I’ve always been this skinny, I’ve always had bones jutting out in every direction. I’ve always had bigger women tell me how jealous they are of my metabolism, and I’ve always heard many of those same bigger women talk about curves being mandatory for sex appeal.
That’s me, in all of my skinny glory. I’ve been called anorexic, bulimic, a tweaker, a stick, a twig, gross, Skeletor… I have no self esteem issues about what people have called me. I don’t care if some people think the shape of my body makes me unattractive. I landed the only man I care to impress, no one else’s opinion really matters to me.
He’s perfectly ok with my ribs showing, my spine showing, tendons in my wrists and ankles sticking out, my bony bottom sitting on his lap. That’s all that matters to me. But this hate on skinny in general is really disheartening.
I can’t even begin to find a true source of this image, or the rest in this post for that matter. If you’ve been anywhere other than under a rock the past few years, you’ve seen these or something like them.
I’m just amazed at this dichotomy between curvy and bony, fat and skinny. No one wants to be judged negatively on their own weight, yet so many are seemingly content pegging their size as the “optimal” size, while criticizing others for being a bag of bones or a butterball. And it’s not even just a recent thwart to overcome the stigmas placed on women by size 0 models and actresses.
It would seem that skinny girls have been told they’re too skinny just as long as fat girls have been told they’re too fat.
What’s that? “Fat” is a little too insensitive of a word for you? Then stop letting skinny get tossed around like a cuss word. It feels as much like a war on skinny as a bar full of frat boys feels like a war on fat for the girl with the most predominant curves. It hurts just the same.
Dogs? Really? You see pictures and quotes like these posted on things like Facebook and Pinterest followed by some clever comment like, “LOL! So true! Real women have curves.” What’s that make the rest of them? Am I a fake woman? Am I a man? A little boy?
I understand potential health implications of being very big or very small, and I’m not undermining the fact that some people should work towards being healthier, but I also understand that there is no “one size fits all” where women’s bodies are concerned, regarding health or attraction. It is very hurtful to imply that a girl who is too skinny or too fat or too whatever is automatically less attractive, less of a woman, than another.
If we all want women to be happy, healthy, and confident, we need to stop focusing on their shapes, stop making comparisons to other shapes, and stop finding reasons why one would be better than another. Not all skinny women starve themselves, just like not all heavy-set women can’t say no to junk food. The emphasis that we place on any size or shape only helps to further propel these stereotypes.
I guess what gets me most is how this is all part of some campaign to try and get women to feel better about their differences, feel better about their curves – prove that looks aren’t what make a woman beautiful, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
Yet, if you don’t fall into this perfectly curvy mold, you don’t have real beauty? You’re not a real woman? You look like a ten year old boy? You’re leftover scraps for a dog? What is the difference between this and calling a woman lard-ass, muffin top, or chunky monkey? Why did this somehow slip everyone’s idea of completely and utterly offensive?
When has it ever been socially acceptable to say things like, “Real women don’t have cellulite?” Or, “Men don’t like rolls on their women, they only like them with turkey and mashed potatoes.” Or, “Stretch marks: If I wanted stripes on my women, I’d date a zebra.”