I Just Need To Breathe…


Totally anxiety attack is starting to boil up.  I’ve still got SO MUCH to do for Doodle’s birthday party in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS – crochet dragons, buy foods, make cake, put together goody bags…  And I’ve got so much housework that’s been terribly neglected – laundry, vacuum, dishes, general cleaning, organizing closets that have been overflowing for months…  Bills that JUST KEEP COMING every month no matter how many times I pay them!  (I know – that last one’s just a fact of life)

And then I’m sitting here trying to make Jake’s summer semester a little easier for him by consolidating his schedules for all three of his online classes…  And all it’s doing is making me completely exhausted for him.  I mean, they say summer semesters are crammed pretty tight because they’re so much shorter than regular semesters, but seriously!  I’m going to be tired just looking at him as he looks at this ridiculous schedule he’s going to have to start keeping when he comes home from work tonight.  And I’m going to want to do nothing more than take on as much extra weight from him as I can to help ease his busy world…

Which would just add to my busy world.  Anyone want to take some of my extra weight?  I’ve got three completely clean baskets of laundry that need folded, hung, and put away, then another 3 or 4 loads worth just chillin’ in random piles that need washed, dried, folded, hung, and put away…  I’ve got clean dishes in the dishwasher just waiting for someone to put them away so that the half-a-load of dirty dishes in the sink could be put in the dishwasher.  I’ve got an entire house worth of carpet that could use some good vacuuming action, some couches that wouldn’t mind a nice cleaning, a kitchen counter that’s tired of being a catch-all, and some bathrooms that would like to be scrubbed down…

And on top of that, I’m fairly certain that what I thought was Doodle-allergies this morning is actually Doodle-sick this evening…  Which sucks for three reasons.  One, Doodle doesn’t feel good.  Two, Doodle’s an absolute punk when he doesn’t feel good and I have to figure out how to keep him following certain non-negotiables while also understanding his need to relax on a few rules until he feels better.  And three, Jake and I were supposed to cash in our Doodle/Ling sleepover card for a nice night out either tomorrow or Thursday night, and that’s probably not going to happen because I don’t want Ling to get sick and I don’t want Hippie Mama to have to deal with cranky sick Doodle when all he wants is me helping him feel better. (Bonus reason!  Four, what if Jake or I get sick from him?!?!)

And I need to crochet SO MANY MORE little bitty dragons.  And I have to get plates and cups and napkins and a tablecloth and ice cream and cake mix and snacks and drinks.

Luckily, my GODSEND of a friend is coming down for a few days this weekend to help with the dragons.  She’ll likely help with the getting of the things as well.  But none of it is actually done yet, so it’s totally stressing me out – as you could probably already tell without me having mentioned it…

I know – I need to breathe.  I recognize that I could make my life a little easier by NOT constantly trying to be a super-mom.  And I totally get that sometimes the laundry just has to wait.

And I also know this is all temporary.  In two weeks, Doodle’s birthday party will be done and over with, and things on my end will get back to “normal”.  In two months, Jake will be done with his summer semester, have 22 college credits under his belt, and get an entire month off between semesters.  And then in about three years, he’ll be done with school completely and hopefully switch over to one of those fancy 9-5 kinda jobs everyone’s always talking about.  Then we can have our picket fence and I can stop freaking out about everything, right?

But until then, I need to consciously tell myself to breathe.  And then I need to remind myself that after I recover from my anxiety attack, I’ll feel better if I just get up and actually knock something off my list of things to do.

I think I’m going to go fold some laundry now.

Ah hell, I forgot to feed the dog today!  K, I’ll fold laundry after I feed the dog…


5 responses »

  1. I totally empathize except I have to trade crocheting tiny dragons (which sound SO FREAKING CUTE) with groundwater and soil contamination at my office where I have a terrifying mountain of stuff to do. Seriously, if I could temporarily clone myself, I would. And I’d send a few clones your way. Hang in there! As you said, in 2 weeks things ease way up!!

    • I often wonder why we still don’t have robot servants yet. I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to by now. How long before you get to breathe you think? Another 17 1/2 years? 😉

  2. Nah-there is always something to freak out. But the party for 3yr olds – chill. It is not that serious. You moms!
    Anyway – I hope the date night can happen & things slow down a bit. Enjoy & breathe.

    • I know! Moms are completely crazy, it’s true. 🙂 “Date night” actually will be happening, because Hippie Mama is an angel, but it’s really just adult beverages and adult conversations with adult friends. A true date night, now that would be something indeed!

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