Doodle came into our room this morning to wake us up, and we did our typical begging him to go back in his room and play so we could at least pretend to get a little more sleep. Don’t judge, you’ve all been there… Well, at first it looked like a successful bet – that is, until he came back into our room moments later wielding a flashlight. Alright, it’s apparently time to lazily play in bed…
So he started pointing the flashlight at various things, having us hide under the covers so he could find us with it, and running into the dark closet. Then he pointed the flashlight at my eyes. This thing is pretty darn bright, and my sleepy eyes could not handle that degree of light, so I very sternly told him not to point it at my eyes. The following is the conversation that ensued…
“I point the flashlight at the dog?”
“That’s fine, just not at her face.”
“I point the flashlight at Mommy’s belly?”
“That’s perfectly acceptable.”
“I point the flashlight at Mommy’s penis?”
“Well, Doodle, Mommy doesn’t have a penis.”
“Daddy has a penis.”
“Yes, Daddy has a penis.”
“I have a penis.”
“Yes, you also have a penis.”
“And Mommy likes a lot of penises.”
Even after I recovered from laughing for a good five minutes straight, I had no flippin idea how to respond to this one. I realize that this was clearly his little brain putting things together a little oddly, but still very logically.
Mommy likes Daddy. Daddy has a penis. Mommy likes Doodle. Doodle has a penis. Daddy and Doodle are more than one, which is a lot. Mommy likes a lot of penises.
But, seriously child?!
(Sidenote – I just HAD to let you all know about the HILARIOUS way I started my morning, but I am kind of curious [see: concerned, nervous, totally baffled by the weirdos that are out there] to see what awful search terms my WordPress stats page is going to tell me about in the coming weeks…)