Adult Words (Warning: Adorable Profanity Inside)

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Doodle was watching the National Geographic Channel as some wildebeests were running through a creek.  He, apparently unsure of what kind of animal they were, yelled at the t.v., “Those horses are a bitch!”

Immediately Jake and I look up at him, and I say to him, “Excuse me?”

He says again, more timidly this time, as though he understands his violation, “Those horses are a bitch?”

Calmly, so as not to bedazzle the word any more than necessary, I respond, “That’s not a very kind word.”

“That’s an adult word?”

I giggle a little inside as I confirm his question.  I’m not sure if he’s made the connection that only adults should be able to use that word or if he’s just stating that adults in general are “not very kind.”

He responds, “And then summer I say it?”

We have no idea where he’s going with this.  It is currently summer, and I’m sure the word has been tossed around enough for him to understand it – though he has not yet used it in context – so I assume he thinks he can say the not very kind adult word when it is summertime.  I say to him, “No.”

He flips out.  “Summer… say… it!” comes out between frustrated tears.

Jake gets an idea and asks, “What do you mean summer, bud?  Do you mean the season, or the Hugglemonster?”

Between more tears, “The… Huggle… monster!”

Summer Hugglemonster is Henry Hugglemonster’s big sister.  She’s sparkly, she dances and sings, and when she’s not making her brother’s life difficult, she supporting him through his problems.  She most definitely does not, however, say, “bitch.”

Instead of correcting him and drawing anymore unnecessary attention to the not very kind adult word, I say to him, “Well, you do not say it.”

“Ok!” he happily responds as he trots off to roll around on the rug and watch more NatGeo.

I can only assume his thought process was: “Adults can say the not very kind adult word, I am not an adult, I cannot say the not very kind adult word, adults are bigger than me, I’m about Henry Hugglemonster’s size, Summer is bigger than him, Summer is bigger than me, Summer is an adult, she can say the not very kind adult word… so, when I’m as big as Summer, I’ll be an adult and then I can say the not very kind adult word.”

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2 responses »

    • 🙂 Yes, I could do that as well. For now though, while he is in at a very “tape recorder” stage, we’ll probably just stick to making any bad words he does happen to hear not as exciting as they might originally sound by downplaying the crap out of them. What gets me is I honestly have no idea where he heard it – while we probably cuss way more often around him than we should, “bitch” is rarely, if ever, in our vocabulary. Who knows. 🙂

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