Tag Archives: Goodbye Hair

Feeling Good


I’ve been working really hard on keeping really good habits, though I’ve realized that I have to do it at my own pace. I figured it out after a few dozen organizational websites or motivational Pinterest thingies that I can’t just follow someone else’s idea of what will work, not even really if I get to adjust things and “make it my own.”

I’m not sure if that made any sense at all, and I’m sorry if it didn’t. My brain is currently working on tangents and run-on sentences. 🙂 I’ll do my best to explain…

You guys may remember my post back in March about how gung-ho I was about following a little printed-out binder full of cutesy reminders of what I should be cleaning each day and then magically at the end of 20 days, my house was supposed to be perfect and I was supposed to have the skills and habits of a swell housewife who probably even took off her husbands shoes as soon as he got home from work everyday to give him a nice foot rub. Yeah, that happened.

Well, I did the first two days, not the foot rubbing part, but then I gave up completely. It was probably something ridiculous like, “But I don’t want to clean the bathroom today, I want to organize my closet!” and then I just decided that the whole thing was stupid.

Since then, I’ve tried a ton of different ideas and “systems” – and I even considered spending a couple buckaroos on the Unfuck Your Habitat app because it just sounded like something that would be right up my alley and it would probably share the same disgruntled views of this housey job that I’ve got. Would that be an Unfuck your Habitapp? Either way, I digress, as I do, and that’s why we’re here anyway… But I didn’t want to waste a valuable dollar and ninety-nine cents on an adorable app that would likely only keep me going for a day and a half.

So last week a good friend of mine (another stay at home mama) said something about putting her shoes on to get ready for cleaning the house earlier that day. Uh, what? So she started talking to me about this Flylady thing that a friend of hers had told her about, and that it was really helping her. Apparently one of the main steps of the day to keep your house feeling happy and clean is to get dressed first thing in the morning, including your shoes, I guess to keep you from completely relaxing. The whole, you wear shoes to “real” work outside of the house, so help your brain associate that with work at home, and only take off your shoes and relax at the end of the workday. Man have I been doing it wrong this whole time! 😉

Well, I tried that for a day, as well as a few other steps that I found on the website, like shining your faucets after every time you use them??? But I still wanted to sit on my couch after I put in a load of laundry and stay there until WAY PAST when the dryer went off. Facebook, blog, all sorts of super important things to do, it didn’t matter that I still had on my knee-high lace-up leather and fur boots on, I was going to relax if I wanted to. I just kicked up my boots onto my cluttered coffee table, and went about my lazy day.

Ok, so screw this, I can figure this out on my own! For the entire past week, since the day after I wore my apocalypse boots all around the house, I’ve managed to keep dirty dishes out of the sink entirely. They go straight to the dishwasher, and the dishwasher gets run (gets ran, is run, I don’t know…) as soon as I can’t fit the next thing in it or as soon as all of one thing (like plates or something) is dirty. Then, as soon as the dishwasher is done, everything gets put away immediately.

Also, all trash is thrown out as soon as it is made. It really helps that Doodle LOVES taking things to the trash, so I’ve gotten him to where he’ll actually call me out on putting a small piece of trash on the coffee table or leaving the mac&cheese box on the counter, then he’ll happily take it to the trash for me.

Our normal, have-to-use-daily clutter now goes into a canvas box basket thingy that we originally got to hold Doodle’s cloth diapers. The box stays on the coffee table, and is a convenient “I don’t know where to put this right now” spot. And every few days, or whenever I notice that it takes more than a few seconds to find something in it, I just clean it out. Mainly, I end up fishing out random toys Doodle hid in there or cleaning out Jake’s work pocket trash that he dumps in there every day after work. Hey – at least he’s not leaving it in there so that it ends up in the washer every time… I’ll take what I can get here. 🙂

Speaking of the washer – I spent a whole day catching up on laundry, and now I’ve got a small basket downstairs in front of the washer and a small basket upstairs in our room. Upstairs laundry goes in upstairs basket, downstairs laundry, downstairs basket. As soon as one of them is full, they’re both dumped in the washer, and they get washed, dried, folded, hung, and put away right then.

I also moved my furniture around and was able to vacuum everything that hasn’t been accessible since we moved in two and a half years ago. I didn’t exactly move the furniture around just to vacuum – I’ve been seriously feeling stuck, and rearranging the living room helps me feel like I’m in a new place. That’s the wanderlust gene my loving father passed down to me. Thanks, dad. But the living room is super fun (I can’t wait for Jake to get home tonight to see what he thinks) and the entire floor is super clean – or, you know, as clean as my awful vacuum can make it.

I need to overhaul the bathrooms tomorrow, but it really wasn’t that long ago that I did that anyway, and we’ve actually been doing really good at keeping up on that without even really thinking about it.

Other than that, all I really need to work on is getting in a good method of keeping cooked meat things available for the carnivorous hubby who isn’t home at typical meal times while also providing my vegetarian self and my picky little man with nourishment, all without spending the entire day everyday in the kitchen. I recently realized that I’ve got one of those 3-part crock pot guys in my garage, so I think I’m going to try to figure out how to use those without burning down my house, and I think I’ll be able to do a decent job at just making different versions of whatever I may be cooking all at the same time to appease all of us.

I haven’t touched the coffee cup sweaters, and I’m fairly certain that it’s a completely lost cause to finish them and get them to my friend in time for Christmas shopping. But I’ll keep them sitting here, just in case, you know, I get the intense need to crochet one day after I’ve finished cleaning everything, while my pots are crocking, and I’ve already gone through all of the Facebooking, blogging, and youtubing that I’ve needed to for the day.

This is becoming a long post, sorry, deal with it. Or don’t. Either way. 🙂

Doodle ’bout freaked me out the other day when I got off the phone and found this:

Look mama - I got Link's ears on!

Look mama – I got Link’s ears on!

He had taken it upon himself to use every last drop of spirit gum to get his elf ears on by himself. Nevermind that we used every drop of the spirit gum remover it came with to get off the teeny amount we used on Halloween because THAT SHIT DOESN’T COME OFF! Jake took one look and said, “Oh god, we’re going to have to cut it,” in the most calm and collected (and obviously overcompensating for the incredible surge of emotions going through him) manner with this pale face and deer in headlights look.

A quick and frantic google lead me to a possible solution, so I grabbed the leftover baby oil (that we kept since his baby shower when he was an infant and we never actually used it – see, it pays to keep things forever!) and doused him. It was listed as a “maybe, it might work, you could try it and hope for the best?” kind of solution in the forum I happened upon – but holy goodness that stuff practically DISSOLVES spirit gum. He had giant globs of it on his jeans, I squirted some baby oil on it, rubbed it in a little, and it was GONE – incredibly oily, but gone nonetheless. After a pretty intense hair-brushing session and several baths to get residual oiliness gone, his hair is TOTALLY intact, the spirit gum is gone, and we have learned our lesson of putting prosthetic accessories away and out of reach after we’re done with them.

‘Til next time, folks. It’s been fun. 🙂


The First Steps


I just love how you thought I was totally about to chop off my hair. 🙂

You’ve all probably learned a thing or two about me since I started this blog, like the fact that I’m 102 pounds and shrinking, that I lock my son in his room, or that I’m fond of male anatomy. What you haven’t learned, probably because other than a break-up note that I recently wrote to my hair, I haven’t actually talked about my hair (weird, I know – totally a normal conversation topic), is that I’m totally and completely in love with my hair. Ok, so that sounds a little excessive… What I mean is – I really like my hair. I like how long it is, and I like that it’s full of spunk… I just can’t actually do anything with it with intentions of trying to look decent without spending hours on it every day. Hours which I just plain do not have.

So instead, I’ve enlisted the help of several friends of mine to spend hours on my hair for me the past few days (and the next few as well, because if you didn’t realize before, I have A LOT OF EFFING HAIR!) so that soon, very soon, I will have the hair I’ve always wanted, the hair that I haven’t yet made a reality because of various life circumstances, the hair that will look almost exactly how I want it to every single day without me doing a single thing to it. That hair, my dear friends, is dreadlocks.

So, with a happy heart, I give you – my mess for the next 6 months to year of my life:

Day 3

Day 3

I currently have 27 and a half baby dreads and 11 braided sections awaiting their turn with the comb. I’m the floofiest mess I’ve probably ever been in my life, there’s no symmetry whatsoever on my head (as there are only 2 sections waiting to be dreaded on one side, whereas there are 9 on the other), and I’ve got loose hair sticking out all over the base of my dreads, throughout the length of them, and at the tips. And I LOVE it!!!

So here’s the deal, lovely bloggy friends. I’m only assuming that you all follow me more or less to laugh at my fumbles, get excited at my wins, and look at adorable pictures of my Doodle. I have every intention of continuing to provide all of that on this here blog, but I do want to document my dread journey for people who are looking to get dreads of their own or who are just curious about the whole process. I will likely be making fun of myself with regularity, but more than that I intend to talk about all of the details that I haven’t really been able to come across when looking for youtube videos, blogs, or forums discussing the beginning of a dreadlock journey.

So, to save your reader from an overload of unwanted dread updates, and also to save curious dread-wanting folks from an overload of unwanted Doodle updates (I know, who wouldn’t want Doodle updates, right?), I’m going to start a new blog specifically for my dreaded journey. I’ll give you all the link for it as soon as I get it up and going, but I will not be sad if you choose not to follow it. 🙂 Lots of love to you all, and I’ll have more wonderful Doodle-related goodness very soon.

It’s Been a Fun Ride, But You’ve Got to Go!


Hair, it’s been super. I mean, you’ve always been kind of wonderful to me. You’re been super long, which is totally my kind of thing, and you have an awesome floofy-ness about you. I mean, sometimes it’s been the less-than-awesome kind of floofy-ness. Really most of the time it’s been less-than-awesome. Truly, I hate you. Do you remember what you did to me in Chicago?!

Do you SEE how GIANT my EFFING HAIR is?!?!

Do you SEE how GIANT my EFFING HAIR is?!?!


Seriously, hair, this isn’t cool. As much as I *love* how long you’ve always been, I’ve never really been able to show you off to the world. You’re just so wild – I can’t keep you under control anywhere we go! So, my natural state has become with you tied up in an awful conglomeration of “bun” that sticks out in every different direction because, even with a brand new hair tie with all of the elasticity the factory originally put in it, nothing will truly contain you.

Seriously, when have you EVER seen me with my hair not this haphazard mess?

Seriously, when have you EVER seen me with my hair not this haphazard mess?

Ok, sure – some days, years ago, I used to spend an hour and a half or so straightening you. But really, I’m lazy enough already, I barely have time to brush you. So what did I do last year? I spent ONE HUNDRED TWENTY DOLLARS to have the sweetest hair stylist ever chemically straighten you! And what did you do? Completely rebelled to the point where none of the straightening thing worked. So she, being the sweetest hair stylist ever, chemically straightened you AGAIN, free of charge, because maybe she had done something wrong the first time…. NOPE! You’re just a PAIN IN THE ASS!

If only you'd stay this nice and tame.

If only you’d stay this nice and tame.

So I say this to you once and for all, I’m done with you. I’m done hiding you in a rat’s-nest bun. I’m done brushing knots out of you for fifteen minutes straight less than an hour after I JUST BRUSHTED KNOTS OUT OF YOU for fifteen minutes straight – heck, I’ve been done with this one for a while already now, it’s not like brushing you ever worked in the first place! I’m done breaking you into three knotted conglomerations to braid together before I go to bed every night because I don’t have the energy to deal with you anymore.

We just need to end this. We don’t work well together, not like this. It’s never worked. Every single day, either you feel like I’ve put you in a cage, or I feel like you’re wrecking my life. You need the freedom to be as crazy and untamed as you want to be, and I need the freedom to spend my time on things more important than keeping you under control. I think in a few years we’ll look back at this day and laugh at the fact that we ever thought we could get along like this.