I do this a lot, guys. It’s kind of my MO. I find something I like, I run in head first, and then I burn myself out and give up.
Ok, so I don’t always burn myself out and give up. Mainly if it’s for Doodle, I’ll just grind through the last mile or so of a project while every instinct I have is telling me to just stop. Otherwise, when it’s not directly for Doodle, I go too hard and too fast into something that I really love, and one day out of no where my motivation is completely gone. I set huge goals for myself, realizing that they’re entirely possible and that there’s no real legitimate reason I can’t check them off my list, but then I just can’t keep going. I don’t know though, it almost seems like the fact that they’re on my list, at one point or another it starts to make me not want to do them that much more. It’s almost like an oppositional defiance thing.
Take, for instance, I showed a great friend of mine who owns a coffee shop these completely adorable coffee cup sweaters that I made to see if he wanted to sell them for me at his shop:
I had sent them to him with the idea of selling them with something kind of like a consignment deal – I make some and send them to him, and he sells them and gives me my cut. I send him more whenever I have more. Perfect, right? I can just make them at my leisure, and we both get a bit of a profit whenever anyone wants to buy a silly coffee cup novelty. Well, he saw them and loved them, and he offered me $200 for 20 of them.
$200! That’s flippin awesome! I mean, sure it takes me a while to make one, but I’m not doing anything else, right? Sure, I keep Doodle alive and make food and wash laundry and kick the dog when she snores and vacuum and keep track of all of Jake’s due dates for school assignments and tests. But I’m not doing anything else that brings home the bacon, and that’s pretty cool that I have the ability to make a few extra buckeroos, right? So I make a whole ton of those coffee bean buttons, get all of my yarns sorted and figured, make all of the main parts of the covers… and then I stop. Literally, all I’ve got left is about 10 faces to make and attach onto the sweaters. That’s it. I’ve been sitting here NOT making $200 for 3 months now. And I don’t know why I can’t just pick them up and finish them.
If something’s not on my list, however, and I’m sitting there with no direct to-do, I’ll just whip out a pillow:
Again, we’re talking about doing something for Doodle, but it was a perfectly spontaneous project that I can only imagine still would have taken me weeks longer to complete had it been something I specifically wanted to make for him. Instead, I was just sitting there with some material I had come across while cleaning, and I thought to myself, “I should make a pillow for Doodle.” Then I promptly got up and grabbed my sewing machine, scissors, and stuffing and got to work. Not 15 minutes later, Doodle was ECSTATIC to take his new pillow to Grandma’s for a sleepover.
Why can’t everything be like that? Even if it is on a list, why can’t I just get a random motivation and actually finish things?
As far as completing things for Doodle, I’ll still stall to the last second most of the time. That birthday party back in June? I was still finishing party favors, snacks, and cake-decorating as guests were arriving. I had been “working” on it for months. Months.
That pillow though – I think (hope) that pillow changed something in me. That same day, after he went off to Grandma’s, Jake and I went out to get almost everything I needed for his Halloween costume. Three full weeks before Halloween! Granted, we needed to know what all we would be able to procure locally or craft out of basic supplies, that way we had enough time to wait for anything we needed to order online. But anyway, I got the supplies super early. You know what the old Kortney would have done? Put those bags in a closet and remembered them on October 29th!
This new and improved pillow-crafting Kortney, however, went out and enjoyed the rest of the evening with her husband celebrating 10 years together. But then the very next morning, this new pillow-crafting Kortney started cutting and sewing fabric, carving foam, and fabricating accessories. I was determined to not have this project on my list stress me out ’til the last minute. I went head first, but I couldn’t give up. It was for Doodle.
Anyway – where I was going with this (That’s right folks! – this post was NOT just a clever attempt at sharing my little guy’s AWESOME Halloween costume with you)…
I’ve been absent from here for a while. A long while. I think since Labor Day? Yep, balloons. That was my last post, on August 31. Along with me not being on here, I haven’t been to your pages either. I do follow a few of you on Facebook, and I love reading your blogs that I see, but I don’t get links to all of them, and I never come check on you wonderful friends who aren’t on Facebook (or at least who I haven’t found yet). And that makes me sad. Because I truly loved being in your lives, even just digitally. But I jumped in the deep end without grabbing floaties, guys, and I sank.
If I can randomly make a pillow in 15 minutes and get Doodle’s costume done *for the most part* 3 weeks before Halloween, I think I can get back on my horse around here. I want to make some goals. Put them on my have-to-do list. Something like, post on here weekly. Maybe even once or twice more in the month to just share a fun picture of Doodle or something we did together. One of these days I even want to try something like a daily picture for a month kind of post like I’ve seen around a bit. Something, anything, to get me in the habit of keeping a habit.
Also, and I’m a little early, but I think my blog’s birthday is coming up – November 20. It’s not really that big of a deal, and I think this is only like my 70th post, but it’s still a milestone for me. 🙂 I think, because I love you guys so much, that I want to do some kind of giveaway for that. Reverse birthday presents work, right? I’ll get back to you on details for that. And if you have any suggestions, let me know! 🙂 I can make cookies, and I’m pretty crafty – what do you guys want?
One other habit I want to keep is getting back in touch with all of you. I will be on here more often looking through all of your blogs, that’s a promise. What would really help me, though, is if you have a Facebook page for your blog, I’d love to know about it. I think I’ve only got like 3 or 4 of you on my wall. What’s super easy about that is I’m on Facebook often. I’m not very good at social things, so I don’t really hang out or talk to people in person often, so Facebook is super easy for me to keep in touch with all of the wonderful people in my life who I love while still giving me the ability to pause before responding or scoot out of a conversation without all eyes on me.
So, my have-to-do list:
- Post full blog posts weekly on here.
- Post once or twice more per month small updates with pictures.
- Get something figured out for my blog birthday.
- Check your blog posts regularly.
- Finish coffee cup sweaters.
Your if-you-want-to-do list:
- Tell me what you want for my blog birthday.
- If you have a blog, tell me if you have a Facebook page for it.